HOW TO KNOW YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT?

What is my sexual orientation? How do I accept it? How do I tell my parents and loved ones about my sexual orientation? Sexual orientation is a delicate subject that can be difficult to understand, especially at a young age. This red thread that guides our attraction is an essential part of our identity and our being, and sexual attraction can sometimes be misunderstood, badly experienced, or stigmatized. However, sexual orientation is a palette of emotions that transcends gender barriers and emerges in a variety of colours and shades, and you are going to have to fully accept it to love yourself as naturally as possible. How do you discover your thread of attraction and embrace it with serenity?

YESforLOV deciphers the question today and gives you lots of advice to celebrate love, regardless of your gender, your identity, and your sexuality.

HOW TO DEFINE SEXUAL ORIENTATION?

Sexual orientation is a notion that encompasses all forms of sexual desire and attraction, as well as all the fantasies that are linked to it. It is an important part of a person's identity and can influence the way they perceive themselves and interact with the world around them. Sexual orientation can vary in intensity and expression over the course of a person's lifetime.

It is important to emphasize that sexual orientation should not be confused with gender identity, which describes how a person perceives and expresses themselves in relation to being male, female, or non-binary. Sexual orientation and gender identity are two distinct aspects of a person's identity.

We all know the terms heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality, and yet, there are many others! There is  pansexuality for example, which takes into account the spectrum of gender. Being pansexual means that you can be attracted to people without any consideration for their gender: male, female, non-binary, or genderfluid, they don't care. There is also asexuality: not feeling any sexual desire towards anyone. (Be careful not to confuse it with aromantism, which accounts for the absence of romantic feeling). All in all, there are about fifteen possible sexual orientations. As you will have understood, sexual orientation is a big playground with an unlimited amount of options, even if our society is heteronormative, where heterosexuality is considered the standard.

This overbearing view can make it difficult for people who don't identify as hetero to feel accepted and encouraged to explore their own sexual orientation. Of course, it's okay to be heterosexual, but it’s important for those who don’t conform to that norm to have role models to identify with.

In this article, what we want to emphasize is that everyone can find their place, regardless of their desires and preferences. It is possible for each of us to navigate the turbulent waters of sexual orientation in order to find our own path and embrace our authenticity.

 

HOW TO KNOW YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION?

From an early age, we all start with the idea that we are straight, because that’s what’s portrayed. Couples in cartoons follow the classic pattern: one man, one woman, and they lived happily ever after and had many children. It's not easy to break away from all this when we've only been fed what’s heteronormative. If we find ourselves in there, fine, but if this is not the case, we must ask ourselves the right questions and dig deeper.

Discovering one's sexuality is a personal and individual journey. We advise you to search within yourself for the experiences that can help to better understand your sexual desires and preferences. Often, this process begins by asking questions about one's feelings, fantasies, and erotic imagination: it is about exploring what arouses excitement and curiosity, examining the moments in one's life when they had felt a sexual or emotional connection. This can include childhood memories, past and present sexual experiences, and erotic fantasies.

Talk about it with those around you, you are surely not the only one in your friend group to ask these questions. Testimonies and exchanges can help to know where to place oneself on the spectrum of sexuality. If you do not have a trusted network in your friend group, do not panic: a plethora of information is available in LBGT associations, on their websites, and even in a large number of cities. These centres are dedicated to reception, mutual aid, culture, and the fight against discrimination: you will certainly find your happiness there. If you don't feel like talking about it yet with those around you, you can simply consult LGBTQI+ Instagram accounts that highlight all sexual orientations and identities by offering testimonials and information. We recommend @lgbtq (English-speaking) or even @lecoindeslgbt , flagship account for LGBT in France. If you're not an Instagram aficionado, know that you can always find inspiration on Netflix: the series Sex Education tackles many themes related to sexuality while being an inclusive, comedic, and moving series.

It is important to remember that discovering your sexuality is an ongoing process. Preferences and desires can evolve and change throughout life. The key is to listen to yourself, respect your boundaries, and give yourself permission to explore your sexuality safely and with mutual consent.

HOW TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION?

Feeling good about your sexual orientation can involve different approaches .

Some people choose to deviate from social norms and live their lives according to their own truth, regardless of the prejudices they might face. Other people prefer to seek out communities or groups that share their orientations in order to feel understood and supported. In any case, it is important to recognize that each person has the right to live his life as he wishes and that it is essential to respect oneself.

Self-confidence is also a key factor in feeling good about your sexual orientation. It is important to tell yourself that you feel good about yourself and that you are proud of who you are. By learning to accept and love yourself as you are, it is easier to deal with other people's opinions and prejudices. When questioning your sexual orientation, having role models to identify with is crucial. Indeed, the lack of representation and visibility of certain sexual orientations can lead to confusion, isolation, and self-misunderstanding. Having role models can therefore help to understand that one is not alone, help them to ask questions, and show them that they can be proud of their identity. It can also help you feel more comfortable with your direction in life and more open to speaking up. Role models can be real people around us, public figures, and fictional characters from books, films, and television series. They show us that all sexual orientations are valid and that it is possible to be happy and fulfilled, regardless of your sexual preferences.

Some LGBTQ celebrities include: Eliott Page (transgender and bisexual), Kristen Stewart (bisexual), Sam Smith (genderfluid and pansexual), Ruby Rose (lesbian), Angèle (bisexual), and Kiddy Smile (gay).

To end this article in a festive spirit, we invite you to come celebrate the INTERNATIONAL DAY AGAINST HOMOPHOBIA, TRANSPHOBIA, AND BIPHOBIA on May 17, with Lady Purple and her immersion in the world of Drag Queens available here .

Sexual orientation is an essential part of our being. You have to know how to question yourself, let yourself be carried away by your feelings, and live without shame or fear of judgment. Finding your way can sometimes seem difficult, but existence is full of inspiring people and benevolent organizations that will guide souls in search of their identities. Because there are no standards when it comes to love, none! Everyone can, in their own way, flourish, vibrate, and love.