"Slow sex" is considered an art of experiencing one's sexuality according to the principles and teachings of Tantrism. Slow sex is a gateway to a gentle happiness for a pleasure that everyone should enjoy! The choice is not a difficult one: in the hectic life that we impose on ourselves in a modern world, sometimes in’s important to take a moment to enjoy the sensations of love. It is not surprising that slow sex has a place in our sexuality, especially if we are searching for a life that is a bit softer. Slow sex is much more than an approach to sex, it’s a philosophy that will help you break away from your most ingrained habits and live love full in the moment.

Dear readers, what if we went to meet this egoless and very rewarding concept that is making love differently, of doing it consciously?

What is slow sex?

It is a beautiful thing to be able to love gently, without stress, and with a slowness that is almost exasperating. Well, that’s what slow sex is all about! Go ahead and sink into your lover as you experience all the sensations and pleasure that comes from being intertwined with another person.

When living the fast life, it is not uncommon for us to get caught up in the “work-sleep-eat” routine. If you’re in a relationship, no matter how loving it may be, sometimes sex just becomes another item on your “to do” list. And although you may enjoy it in the moment, you become accustomed to getting it over with without much thought or passion. Between eating meals on the run and falling asleep at your computer, you might need to take a second to remind yourself that human beings are not robots. Sometimes you must make the choice to live in the moment and take time out of the day to enjoy your partner. Let slow sex be a choice you make so that you can make love in full consciousness. Use your senses to touch every part of your partners body, smell their divine scent, taste their lips, and admire their beauty.

Slow sex does not prolong the pleasure of making love, it builds it up, step by step, and opens the path that leads to full awareness of your sensations so that you can experience the strongest orgasms. During this time, you can fully enjoy your partners body and let go of everything that’s stressing you out, whether it be work, finances, or family problems. This is the time to get out of your head and live in the moment.

Photos de @jmasson

How to have a conscious orgasm during slow sex

Allow slow sex to lead the way so that you can experience sexuality in full consciousness, which is much less conventional, but much more fulfilling. To begin with, you will have to stop worrying about how you look and perform during sex. Don’t focus on the past of future, but instead, on the present moment. This will allow you to appreciate the feelings you’re experiencing so that you can be fully in the moment and enjoying every caress. The present moment is so wonderful to experience, especially when both partners are intertwined together in totally and mutual complicity. The emotions and sensations can only be the result of renewed desires and intense pleasures.

Nothing could be more informative than American sex therapist Diana Richardson's book "Slow sex, making love with awareness." This is a fantastic guide written by an expert in the field based on her personal experience with Osho Tantra and the teachings of Barry Long.

On the menu are exercises based on meditation – which are very elaborate for those who are addicted to the discipline, and simpler for those who are not. There are many other exercises to do which are directly related to sex, with the goal of finding the path to a liberated sexual life.

    Some key points to focus on in this guidebook:

  • The complete change in the state of mind that is required for you to be able to experience a renewed and awakened sexuality. It will be impossible for you to immediately disregard everything you’ve been taught about sex through rigid and unclear sexual education. What is perfectly possible (and recommended) is for you to look at others with more kindness and tenderness! The urgency for you to have to make love at once and in a hurry will no longer apply!
  • Meditation and proper breathing will be your allies throughout your new sexual journey. A little Tibetan meditation called “in the West” will bring you an inner peace that is unimaginable. It will allow you to break through the barriers that were put around you during your youth and let go of any misconceptions you have surrounding sex. In these moments of relaxation and silence, you will be able to get in touch with your deepest and truest self.
  • Meditation will naturally be combined with deep breathing. Slow and deep breathing will increase your level of endorphins, which are essential pleasure hormones. It’s great because it will make you aware of your consciousness, your body, and your desire for well-being and love. It is through this deep and regular breathing exercise that your perineum will become stronger, which is an incredibly important added benefit.
  • You will have no need to close your eyes while sharing those intimate moments. During slow sex, it’s important to keep them wide open so that you can be fully awake for those magical and sensual moments with your partner. Go ahead and offer your partner subtle caresses and gentle kisses, don’t be afraid to nibble their ear and whisper your desires. Go ahead and tease each other and watch as they beg for more, as you sensually touch their most sensitive body parts. Inflict some deliciously sensual torture with our caressing feather;  gently glide it across their erogenous zones.
  • As a couple, you will build the kind of unbreakable bond that many desire to have. You’ll become more in tune with your partners body, their wants, and desires. Sharing these tender moments in the bedroom will help you to feel a stronger connection and get to know them better. There’s no rush to get it over with, just gentle and tender moments that will become part of the glue that holds your relationship together.
  • Don't skimp on the most effective wellness products, which should be of high quality so that you can make the most out of these intimate moments. YESforLOV high quality intimate lubricants  are always at your side to bring maximum fluidity to your moments of love. The ultimate recommendation: stop settling for excessive discomfort during intercourse. Making love should remain a pleasure to be shared and nothing more.

The benefits of slow sex on your relationship

Understanding slow sex and the spirit behind it requires a bit of commitment, distance, and humility in the face of our Western culture. Without necessary efforts, this new sexual practice will not be possible. During slow sex, there’s no pretending, you are fully yourself in that moment.

Slow sex is the opposite of rushing and the rapid search for pleasure and orgasm. It requires a lot of time so that you can fully enjoy your partner’s body. And what’s the icing on the cake? You can use our sensual products to help add some more tenderness to your evening.. like our titillating candles, complicit fragrances, and more according to desires.

Sexuality is a personal matter that varies greatly between each person and each couple. The way in which you experience slow sex will be completely different than what others enjoy. Maybe you prefer longer foreplay, maybe like your neck to be kissed a certain way… your desires are your own. The most important thing is to focus on being present in the moment and not worrying about performance. Your happiness and pleasure is the most important.

During slow sex, you can enjoy tender looks of desire, gentle caresses, and soft and loving words; deep breathing will allow you to find the balance and inner wisdom you need. Slow sex will free your mind and help you forget those things that are causing you stress and anguish, so that you can finally devote yourself to the simple pleasure of love.

Meditating in a relaxing setting, listening to your body, and performing yogo poses are all ways in which you can get in touch with your deepest self and find inner peace. Living mindfully in the present moment is one of the best ways to fight anxiety and stress so that you can be truly happy.

The road to being fully happy in this discipline is long, but it is absolutely worth it.

To help you live in the moment, try taking a break from your intense sport activities and take a slow, meditative walk. You can also discover new forms of exercise that will help you to relax your body and focus on breathing, such as sophrology and yoga. Being fully conscious means that you are open-minded to experiencing new sensations and that your reason for making love is not just to reach orgasm. Take a moment to breath and visualise your deepest desires that truly make you excited.

“What is right is easy.”
( Lao-Tseu)

Once well assimilated, slow sex becomes the ace of aces in terms physical love and its legitimate aspirations. This sexual practice offers us the opportunity to become truly aware of our own personality and of our immediate availability in the face of our most modest or wildest desires.

Don’t let the stresses of everyday life stop you from spending precious moments with your partner! Respectful and loving sex opens up unknown horizons that we have neglected for too long, and slow sex is waiting at our door to remind us. Without libido, we would be invulnerable. Thank the Universe that this is really not the case.

Slow sex is not witchcraft or magic, it is just a way to make love in a way that is simple, natural, and shared. But by slowing down these erotic moments you can strengthen your desire and tease your partner in a way that has you both begging for more.

How can YESforLOV support you during your journey

In the slow sex approach, the sensory dimension plays a key role because the body is like a temple, and everything is to be savoured by our 5 senses. To indulge in this practice, YESforLOV, your intimate cosmetics brand, invites you to caress with its silky-soft massage lubricant, explore each other’s bodies with the massage candles, discover delightful massages with our oils recommended by Karmatantric magazine; to titillate your senses with our sheet fragrance. And for all-out foreplay, a few touches of our delightful perfume will spice up the moment. You are now free to enjoy at your own pace and according to your desires.

The curtain comes down on guilt, short-circuited desires, and lack of pleasure. From now on, there is room for full awareness of oneself and of the other, so that you can rediscover their body and enjoy the moment. Don’t let the pressure and stress from society stop you from enjoying everything your body has to offer. Go ahead and enjoy your pleasure.

When it comes to building a sensual and spiritual relationship with the body and mind, the eastern cultures have always led the way. It’s time for those in the west to utilise this way of being in order to fully make the most out of pleasure, and life.